My Sister - Regina

I have been thinking for some time now that I would write a post about my sister Regina who passed away many years ago. Earlier this week while I was on an early morning hike by myself - I was adding up how many years it has been since Regina died. 28 years ago this last April Regina's life on this earth ended. But, before I get to the end of her story, let me go back to the beginning.

It is interesting how as I get older many memories fade but so many of my memories of Regina are still clear in my mind. Regina came to this earth two years before I arrived. Regina and I are the closest in age out of all of my mother's children. I have many memories of Regina and I playing together as we grew up. We spent some part of everyday playing together. We swam, rode bikes, played softball, walked to AM/PM - the local convenience store, played house and school, built blanket forts and the list goes on. We also fought with each as I was I terrible tease. But, we always forgave each other and began our fun again. Because of Regina I always had a ready companion. I was lucky.

But, because of Regina I also began to learn early in my life about the realities of being mortal and that this life is temporary. My first lesson in the realities of being mortal took place when we were living in Pleasant Hill, CA. I was in first grade and Regina was in third grade when one day after school as I was walking to the bus to go home for the day - one of the people that worked at the school approached me and explained to me that Regina had blacked out and rolled under one of the waiting school buses. I remember sitting on some steps as this situation was explained to me. I was just 6 years old trying to understand what had happened to my sister.

Because Regina and I were so often together, I had the experience of being present a number of times when she would "black out". There were times when I was alone with her and felt scared as I did not understand why she was blacking out and how I could help her. But as I think back now, I am sure that I was not alone. I am sure in those mortal moments, when earth and heaven were meeting that Regina had someone there aiding her and prolonging her time on this earth.

Recently, I read an account of a woman had a near death experience. She drowned while kayaking in Chile. She was married, the mother of 4 children, a spine surgeon and a christian. She remembers not feeling scared as she was trapped underwater and drowned. She felt peace and love surrounding her. She left her body and went with a group of heavenly beings. But as she reached a certain point she had to return to her body. Her mortal experience was not over.

An angel explained to her that she had specific things that she needed to do before her time on earth was over. One of the things she needed to do was help her family deal with the future death of her son, Willie. Her son was alive and healthy at that point but would die in the coming years.

She explains to the reader that when her son Willie was about 4 or 5 years old that one day she was just chatting with her son and made the random comment, "When you are eighteen..." Her young son then said,"But I'm not going to be eighteen." She then said, "What did you say?" Her son looked at her seriously and said, "You know. I'm never going to be eighteen. That's the plan. You know that." He acted as though I must already know the plan for his life. She never shared this conversation with anyone until Willie's eighteenth birthday approached and then she finally shared it with her husband. Willie did pass away suddenly after being struck by a car while doing dry land training for the ski team he was on.

As I read this account, I thought of Regina's life. Her life's plan was similar to Willie's - in that she was never going to grow old. Although she would come very close, she was never going to reach her 14th birthday. She would come and go all in a short time.

Her last day on this earth was a perfect one. It was everything a young girl would want, especially Regina who loved to be outside. It was a beautiful April day in Fairfield. It was warm and sunny. We played outside most of the day. We were then invited to go swimming at a friend's house. Of course, we went. We swam with our friends. As I was swimming in the deep end of the pool, Regina was in the shallow end and stopped breathing and slipped under the water. There was an immediate commotion and I turned around in the deep end and saw the other people in the pool lifting Regina out of the water. They carried her to the patio and the poor mother of the house where were swimming at called for help and began CPR. The ambulance arrived quickly and began trying to get Regina to breathe again. I then left the backyard and walked home.

Later, at home my sister Teri told me that Regina had died. It was all very hard to understand, especially since Regina had previously blacked out in our local public swimming pool. So, being young and full of faith, I thought Regina would be fine. I had watched her recover many times, so of course she would recover again. So, when I was 11 years old (almost 12), I learned the final lesson, that this life is temporary. It was a very hard lesson to learn at such a young age. It changed me. I could never go back to my youthful innocence and simple faith again. It wasn't until I was in college before I finally felt at peace with my sister's death. Now, I can say that I am extremely blessed to have a sister who is ever aware of my life and who continues to guide me along the journey of my life until I reach the end.